brothers.

I've always wanted a brother.

Ask my mom, and she will tell you that I begged her and my dad to adopt a younger brother for me. Well, you can probably tell that they never caved - I remained an only child. But as I reflect, I have come to the realization that God has provided me with many brothers throughout my life. I don't have biological brothers - and that's okay. 

My brothers are the Godly men who I am blessed to call friends. 

My brothers make me laugh (and roll my eyes) with their woman jokes. 

My brothers challenge me in my walk with God.

My brothers always have my back. 

My brothers give me relationship advice.

My brothers appreciate my love for fireworks. 

My brothers listen to my hopes.

My brothers give me car advice.

My brothers take the fish off the hook for me.

My brothers encourage me in my dreams. 

I am so thankful for my brothers. Honestly, it wasn't until recently that it hit me just how blessed I have been by having such Godly guy friends in my life. I'm beginning to recognize that not every girl has that. 

So, to all of my brothers -- I appreciate you! :) 

my birthday wish.

Tomorrow I turn 23 and I have a birthday wish that will impact 100 people for the better. The thing is - I can't do it alone. As cliche as that sounds, it's true! I need you guys!

My birthday wish: 

100 Acts of Kindness during the month of February 

I have always had this mindset that simple acts of kindness can and do change the world. So here is what I am asking you to do for my birthday:

 >> CLICK HERE and pledge to complete one act of kindness during the month of February. That's all you have to do! Easy peasy, huh?! Right now only 10 people have pledged (thank you to those that have!). We have 17 more days to make this happen -- we've totally got this :)

Why Acts of Kindness, you may ask? For starters, February 10-16th is Random Act of Kindness Week. And like I said before, small acts of kindness have ripple effects that can truly change our world!  Also, did you know that doing kind acts for others actually increases YOUR level of happiness?!

The headlines are filled with heartbreaking stories and we are constantly bombarded with drowning demands. Let's fight back. Our weapon: Kindness.

Needing some inspiration? Check out this video . . .

Now go out there and spread some joy, my friends :)

instructions for a bad day.

Bad days. We all have them.

Watch this video.

5 minutes of your life well spent - trust me.

life, lemons, and agent orange.

My dad in Vietnam

On September 1, 2007 my father passed away from ischemic heart disease, which is a fancy way of saying his arteries were so blocked that blood couldn't travel back to his heart. It's been six years since his death, but the wound was ripped open last year when my mom and I found out his death was tied to his military service in Vietnam. It's not fair, I lamented, It's just not fair. 

Agent Orange, which was an herbicide used by the U.S. military in Vietnam, has been linked to the deaths of many veterans. The official list of health complications includes 14 different diseases, but ischemic heart disease didn't make the list until three years ago. 

The heart wrenching part of all of this is that several individuals have told my mother that the doctors knew Agent Orange was the cause -- they were simply told by the government to keep it under wraps. Awful. I'm not all about debating government conspiracy theories, but that was completely unjust for the hundreds, if not thousands, of families affected by this. 

My dad and I with Bonnie, the Butterscotch Beagle

My emotional response to all of this seems to be cycling from anger to disgust to sadness, then back to anger again. You never think these things will happen to you, and then all of a sudden you're seemingly drowning in life's "lemons." 

Where is Comfort in the midst of all this? He's here. Sometimes I try to ignore Him. Sometimes I yell at Him. Sometimes I blame Him. But He remains right here with me through it all. 

"The mountains may disappear, and the hills may come to an end, but my love will never disappear; my promise of peace will not come to an end," says the Lord who shows mercy to you." 

[Isaiah 54:10]

This is When the Feeling Sinks In

This year has been a time of adjustment. 

My home. My job. My friends. My church.

I've held on, and I've let go. 

I've stumbled, and I've grown.

With a few weeks separating me from 23, I continue to dream.

If only's, what if's, I hope's. . . 

They each follow their beaten paths in my mind. 

As I lie awake, I painfully realize that the old adage rings true.

It isn't until something is gone do you wish it to be yours. 

late night scribblings.

I found myself unable to sleep a few nights ago, and this was the result . . .

It isn't until nightfall that you feel it,

The ache for rest never found.

When your head hits the pillow,

And your gaze is Heaven-bound.

You feed the anxious thoughts:

Can I trust?

Do I matter?

Am I really enough?

In this moment of transparency

You shed a fear-filled tear.

Your eyes fall heavily.

You wonder if He hears.

You sleep, then you dream.

Of all that which you hope for,

Yet never see. 

22 Snapshots

These are 22 snapshots into the past 22 years of my life. It was INCREDIBLY difficult to choose just 22 photos, so don't feel sad if you aren't included in any of them. If you are reading this, chances are we have walked a portion of our journeys together, and that is something that I truly appreciate. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life.

My mom, dad, and I. I still own that Flounder stuffed animal :) 

I was THRILLED when we got Bonnie (the Butterscotch Beagle)

My best friends growing up :)

I decided to play soccer my senior year of high school - no regrets

These girls were always cracking me up. 

                                                  

   I was blessed with some incredible friends in high school - miss them to pieces

Why yes - we DID move our RA's desk into her bathroom. Freshman year was filled with pranks. 

          

                   The Buttercream Gang began the tradition of waiting in line for FNL hours before it began.  

My Central Church buds (some of them at least) I always LOVE chilling with these peeps - especially when fireworks are involved ;)

Fishing - so many fun memories!

Road trip to North Carolina with the little "sister!"

Floor Sister RA's - BPuff is one of the most legit people out there. 

Having these girls as my residents was one of the biggest blessings during my 4 years here at IWU. 

Once upon a time Chick-Fil-A came to IWU - one of the best days ever! 

New friends are pretty legit - love these girls to death! This was taken during our trip to Chicago to see Needtobreathe in concert :) 

       

The Pocket Monsters! Best intramural bowling league out there! 

Nothing like a last minute decision to hitching a ridge with the Goods to Florida - so much fun! Snorkeling was quite an adventure!

This girl "followed" me to IWU - couldn't be happier. 

This one time Rachel got married and there was a torrential downpour. Good times, good times.

Leslie is, by far, the best Resident Director out there. I have been so encouraged by her over the past three years. Beckett Hall is filled with so many wonderful memories. It's definitely going to be hard to leave. 

Although it was only for a semester, I truly enjoyed the time I spent with these crazy kids at Bethel's Youth Group.

The amount of shenanigans I have taken part in with this girl is ridiculous.
Meg, I'd say we have "left our mark" at IWU ;)

The biggest lesson I have learned over the past 22 years: 

Life is full of little joys, recognize and embrace them.