people.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I love people.

Some would say that I am an introvert, but I beg to differ. Honestly, I'm not sure I fit into the introvert/extrovert categories. I am just myself. I love building meaningful relationships with people. I also love pouring into others--whether it is through a simple smile, a drink from McConn, or a word of encouragement--loving on people is my favorite pastime.

Sometimes I am left in a state of awe when I reflect on the people that God has brought into my life. Some of those people are no longer a part of my life, some people send an occasional text or Facebook message, and some of those people are my closest friends. I am incredibly thankful for each and every one of these people. They have encouraged me, taught me, even hurt me...

I'm thankful for the childhood friend that showed me just how blessed I was growing up. I may not have gotten everything that I wanted, but I surely had everything I needed.

I am thankful for the friends that helped me break out of my "shell." Believe it or not, I used to sit by myself in my high school cafeteria :P

I am thankful for the friend that came rushing to my house when I was contemplating suicide. Although she had gotten into a horrible car accident that same day, she didn't hesitate to drive to my house and talk with me until 3am.

I am thankful for the friends that heard my story and responded with, "I love you."

I am thankful for the friend that taught me the value of genuine and meaningful relationships.

The list could go on...

The people that are placed in your life are there for a reason. Don't forget that. God knows what He is doing :)

maps, mountains, and motels.

The perfect way to start the day:

Today was an adventure to say the least. We drove through the Blue Ridge Parkway, which goes through the Smoky Moutains--legit. Lindsey and I couldn't help but laugh at my mom's ridiculous fear of walking anywhere near the lookout views. She's funny.

I touched the clouds. So cool.

The only bad thing is that driving through the mountains took a little longer than we anticipated...the fear that we were going to die in the mountains and no one would find us for weeks ran through my mind a couple of times :P We got super lost, but we were FINALLY able to find our way to a little town in which we found a place to stay the night. It's kinda janky, but it doesn't have cockroaches and it has a bed--that's all that matters :P

Tomorrow we awake at 6am to tackle the rest of our journey home.

Oh, and I saw the ocean for the first time yesterday. (Well, I actually saw it when I was like 3, but I don't remember it, so it doesn't count:P ) I was SO pumped!

road trip.

700 miles. 5 states. 1 day.

States covered: Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, and North Carolina

I love adventures such as these. It's even better because I convinced my mom to let my "sister," Lindsey, come with us :) The only bummer is that we are on a strict time constraint because of the fact that I must return to school on Monday. Although...dropping out may be an option?? Kidding, kidding. I do wish that we had more time to enjoy the trip a little more, but such is life.

We are calling it a day and staying in a motel that has a...unique smell :P Funny story: As we were turning off the lights, my mom informed us that you are supposed to keep a light on when you stay in a motel. When I asked her why, she responded by saying that is was a precautionary measure--should there be a fire, we would be able to find our way out. Lindsey and I immediately burst out laughing because of the fact that it is HIGHLY unlikely that we would become so disoriented in a fire that we couldn't find our way out of a 20 foot by 10 foot room. My mom is silly.

Well, we are getting up at the crack of dawn to tackle the last 300 miles of the trip so I should go to bed.

Oh, the one good thing about the motel we are staying in: there is a Starbucks RIGHT next to it. Definitely hitting that up in the morning :)

Over and out.

dorm life.

The Buttercream Gang had some fun tonight...

Ah, the joys of dorm life :)

blue flannel shirt.

Today marks 1,534 days without my dad. I miss him a lot today. Don't get me wrong--I always miss him, but some days are worse than others. Today is one of those days. I photographed a wedding yesterday, and the father-daughter dance brought me to tears. It was beautiful. The father, fighting back tears, was holding his daughter tightly as she cried into his shoulder. I often think about the fact that my dad will not be there to walk me down the aisle or dance with me at my wedding. It hurts. A lot.

One of the material things that I cling to on days like these is an old and tattered blue flannel shirt. My dad loved flannel shirts. If you take one glance at this particular one, you would understand just how much he loved wearing it. It may seem silly, but when I wear it, it somehow makes me feel like a little part of him is still with me. It is definitely not "fashionable"--it's way too big, incredibly faded, and has a hole in it--but that doesn't bother me. So if you saw me today wearing a faded flannel shirt that should have been thrown away years ago, you now know why :P

They say that losing a loved one gets easier with time, but I don't believe them. Losing my dad at 16 is something that continues to affect me. It's hard hearing other girls talk about things that they do with their dad. Though they still have the opportunity to make new memories, I am incredibly grateful for the memories that I do have with my dad. I can't wait to run to him and give him the biggest hug ever in Heaven though.

procrastination.

This is what my week has looked like:

I should be working on my Social Policy project that is due tomorrow, yet here I am--sitting in the piazza avoiding my homework like it's the plague. My procrastination on this project will inevitably result in me locking myself in either my room or the library and getting very little sleep tonight, but such is the life of a college student :P Just about everyone on campus is feeling the end-of-semester-craziness.

As of recently, I have found that my mind has often been wandering to thoughts of the future. I am still in denial towards the fact that I am almost done with my first semester of my junior year. I only have 3 more semesters here at IWU--crazy! I am having to constantly remind myself to not be so focused on the future that I neglect to recognize the joys of today. It's becoming increasingly more easy to try to plan out next semester, next summer, next year. Next, next, next. Who knows? Sigh.

Some of the questions racing around my head:

Should I apply to be a RA for next year?

Should I apply to be an ARD?

Should I live in North again?

Should I go to grad. school right after I graduate?

How am I going to pay for next semester?

Where should I get the rest of my volunteer hours?

Will I have enough time to get the rest of my volunteer hours?

What should I do this summer?

Am I going to find a job?

Am I leaving any room for God in the midst of all of this?